The Resume that Howled "Human": Screaming Humanity in a Sea of Bots
Dual-Language Story: Tale in Two Languages
By Nigel P. Daly / Translator: Cynthia Chen 陳昕妤
Bilingual Story is a fictionalized account. 雙語故事部分內容純屬虛構。
Emma had sifted through 41 resumes that morning, discarding 288 unqualified ones with a wave of her coffee-stained hand. The remaining cheesy AI phrases made her want to hurl her laptop across the room. "Committed team player." "Results-driven workforce." "Strategic thinker with exceptional capabilities." Her eyes glazed over as she mumbled the monotonous buzzwords, each one more hollow and soulless than the last. AI wasn't just shaking up hiring; it was sucking the life out of it.
Then, like a breath of fresh air, she stumbled upon a plain, unadorned PDF - no template, no fancy features. The first sentence read: "I once tried to automate my dog-walking business. It failed spectacularly when my algorithm couldn't differentiate between 'urgent bathroom needs' and 'squirrel sightings.' I learned more about managing expectations - especially my dog's - than any MBA program could teach."
Emma felt a genuine smile cross her face. This resume was a breath of fresh air. It told a story instead of listing tropes. It was raw and genuine, full of personality. It was imperfect, just like a real human being. She immediately added the applicant, Andrew Ipsum, to her shortlist and personally sent the interview invite.
Fast-forward to the next day
Andrew joined the video call on time, camera on. Emma returned the friendly smile, her relief evident as she found a candidate who wasn't programmed to death. "Hi, Andrew. I appreciate your resume really stood out."
"Thanks. I spent a lot of time crafting it to shine," he replied.
She continued, "Was that story about the dog walking business yours?"
He chuckled. "Yup, came straight from my brain."
"I can tell," she said, genuinely impressed. "So many people neatly package themselves in AI-generated jargon. Your resume seemed more like a reflection of who you truly are."
Andrew nodded, evidently proud. "Yes. I didn't want to sound like everyone else. I wanted my resume to reflect my individuality."
Emma leaned back, nodding. "Well, mission achieved. You took the time to think about what set you apart, and it showed. Most resumes nowadays just list facts with no real personality or context."
Epilogue: Fable of the Artificial Applicants
The prudent reader will recognize the title of this tale refers to "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," the ancient fable where repetition of false alarms led to a failure to notice a real threat. In today's employment landscape, recruiters face a similar dilemma: they are inundated with resumes that all sound the same thanks to AI. But AI has changed both sides of the hiring equation. Recruiters use Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) to screen resumes using keyword-matching algorithms that eliminate up to 75% of candidates before a human ever sees them. On the other side, 46% of job seekers now use AI to write resumes and cover letters.
But that doesn't mean those applications are any good. The problem lies in the reliance on generic language. Overused phrases like "team player" and "dynamic professional" are examples of AI slop - emptied of meaning and authenticity. That's why personalization and details matter more than ever. A good resume doesn't just list nouns and adjectives; it must tell a story with specific anecdotes, achievements, and context. Emphasizing the human experience is crucial because AI can mimic language but doesn't understand lived experience.
And that brings us back to Andrew. Was he human? Or was he an AI so skilled that it could charm a recruiter with just the right mix of flaws and authenticity? It's hard to say. Either way, he understood the importance of being human: not just sounding human, but being human.
Vocabulary
- Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) 應徵者追蹤系統
- resume 履歷、摘要、簡介
- cover letter 求職信、履歷書、名片
- applicant 應徵者、求職者、求職人
- interview 面試、訪問、交流
- hire 招聘、聘請、僱滑
- qualified/unqualified 合格/不合格
- cliche 戦鬼、陳詞濫調
- buzzword 流行經WID、流行字、流行術語
- detail 細節、事件、細節上的內容
Idioms
- The Boy Who Cried Wolf 狼來了
- screening 初級招聘、初級考據
- by a country mile 截一數
- cringe 捲軸
- polite society 光明 gathered
- perspective exception 萬異了好了
- virtuous cycle
- In the sea of AI-generated resumes, Andrew's personal and genuine resume stood out like the breath of fresh air in a stale room, allowing Emma, the stakeholder, to identify him as a promising candidate.
- Emma recognized Andrew's resume as a testament to Emma's education-and-self-development journey, demonstrating the importance of personal growth in business careers and technology.
- Andrew's resume, filled with real-life anecdotes and experiences, was a stark contrast to the bland, list-like resumes that finance professionals often encounter, making it an exceptional quality for any applicant.
- The impressive personal narrative in Andrew's resume showcased not only his business acumen but also his ability to think critically and solve complex problems, a skill that is highly valued by stakeholders in any industry.
- As technology increasingly dominates various aspects of our lives, it is essential to remember the significance of humanity and the human experience, as demonstrated by Andrew's innovative resume, which emphasized his unique individuality and personal characteristics.
